They Started As Strangers
-- Part 12
They Started As Strangers -- Part 12
I can't remember if I set my alarm last night or not, but Cookie and I
didn't get out of bed until 11:30. And that's the time we were
supposed to check-out of the Hard Rock Hotel, meet the guys in the lobby,
and wait for our private bus back to the Nana Hotel in Bangkok.
We showered as quickly as we could, and shoved our stuff into our
bags. As Cookie was packing, I put a generous amount of baht in an
envelope and put it on her purse. Later, she folded the envelope
without looking at it, and placed it in her purse.
Cookie was a nice girl to have around. I wouldn't mind seeing her
again, but I explained to her that we had some shopping to do today and
were off to Cambodia tomorrow. She asked when we would be back, and
I said three or four days and left it at that. We'll just let nature
take it's course…
It didn't occur to me at the time that there aren't many forces in
nature stronger than a big cat or bargirl on the hunt…
We knew we were late, and rushed down to the lobby. Even Antman
beat me to the lobby this time! Checking-out was easy, and as I
autographed a slip of paper for the third and last time, our bus pulled up
to the lobby.
We made pretty good time to the Nana Hotel, and arrived long before
2PM. I said goodbye to Cookie at the front door of the Nana, and we
all went in to get our rooms and drop off our stuff.
Reeb wanted to print out a photo of his girlfriend's daughter so he
could get a painting done at MBK, so MikeM and I agreed to take him around
to do his errands.
Antman and Wifey were off to visit Wifey's sister in the hospital, but
first Antman needed to change some money. If I told him once, I've
told him a hundred times not to use the moneychanger at the entrance to
NEP. And if I told him once, I've told him *two* hundred
times to stay at the moneychanger's window until all the money has been
counted and he's satisfied that everything is correct.
So what does Antman do?
Antman goes to the moneychanger at the entrance of NEP, changes $800
USD, and puts the wad of baht into his pocket without counting it.
Go ahead. Say it… Say it out loud. I know you want
On the way to the hospital, Antman and Wifey stopped at a couple
department stores to do a little shopping. After the third or fourth
store, Antman realized that the money he received from the moneychanger
wasn't right and began counting it all out in the middle of the
mall. That must have been quite a sight; a little guy like Antman
flashing all that baht around…
As it turns out, the girl at the NEP moneychanger did indeed make a
mistake; instead of giving Antman change for $800 USD, she gave him change
for 800 British Pounds! A mistake of over 25,000 THB in his favor!
Antman marched Wifey back to the moneychanger and found the teller that
served him sitting on the floor and crying her eyes out. I gotta
admit he did the right thing, but I'm sure it would have been hard for a
lot of other people I know to do the same thing; especially knowing how
many people those ratbastards have ripped off.
MikeM, Reeb, and I caught a taxi to Pantip. We found a place that
would print out a photo from Reeb's digital camera's memory chip, and had
a snack at KFC while we were waiting. Perfect timing for me, because
I missed breakfast this morning. I always carry a couple Clif Bars
in case my blood sugar drops, but they're not a meal…
We picked up the photo, and took another taxi to MBK. It wasn't a
problem to strike a deal at the painters' shop, and they said we could
come back to pick up the painting in a few days. Perfect for us; we
would be in Cambodia for a short visit, and would be able to pick up the
painting when we got back.
After MBK, we took the Skytrain to World Coffee for a cool drink and to
check our email.
Suddenly and without warning, Reeb grabbed his hindquarters with both
hands and exclaimed that he was about to explode. The way he was
pressing his cheeks together made me think some small eruptions had
started already. He hopped over to the World Coffee restroom and
shook the door, but it was occupied. Reeb looked at me with pleading
eyes, "What do I do?"
"Do you think you can unload in a coffee cup?
"The Nana is too far away, I'll never make it!"
"You're wasting time talking about it. I'd be on my way if I
"Maybe I could just wait until the restroom here frees up…"
"Maybe you could just crap your pants and buy another pair from
that stall out front..."
Reeb thought about it for all of a millisecond, and the last time I saw
him that afternoon he was scooting out the World Coffee door still
MikeM and I moseyed back to the Nana for a short nap before meeting in
the lobby for dinner. I called Reeb's room and he said now that the
explosions had subsided, he wouldn't mind filling it up again at Cabbages
and Condoms. So it was set…
Cabbages and Condoms is one of Reeb's favorite restaurants, and I think
I can say the same for MikeM and myself. Some might say it's a
little pricey and not "authentic" enough for them, but the food
isn't bad and the proceeds are going to worthy causes. It's hard to
argue with that…
We finished our sticky rice with mango just in time to catch a taxi to
Bully's Pub and meet the guys at 8PM. Reeb begged off the evening's
stagger saying although he was feeling better, his stomach still wasn't
100% and he didn't think he should wander far from a civilized toilet.
Shortstuff was her usual spunky self when she ran over to hug us hello,
but after she took our order she could only pout at us from behind the
bar. I'm not sure what's going on at that place, but Bully's Pub
dropped a slot or two in my ranking system when they stopped Shortstuff
from visiting us at our table.
MikeM and I grabbed our favorite table and waited for our drinks.
A few moments later the guys started to roll it. And I was
pleasantly surprised to see that CodeMonkey stopped by to have a drink or
Tonight's stagger would include MikeM33607, Shotover, and The Dead Men
Walking; CodeMonkey and Doozy. CodeMonkey had never been there
before, so as this was his last night in LOS the plan was to hit Soi
Cowboy, have a little fun, and get CodeMonkey back to the Nana Triangle
for his date with the Ed*n girl at 11PM. That should give us a
couple hours of fun…
We had to split up and take a couple taxies, and joined up again in
front of Old Dutch.
Photo courtesy of Doozy
There was a baby elephant wandering around Soi Cowboy that night, and
Doozy enjoyed himself as he fed it some bananas.
First stop was Baccara. I just can't figure that place out.
MikeM and I have had some fun times in Baccara, but usually it's dead in
there. Tonight Baccara was too crowded (we couldn't find a few seats
together anywhere), but the bar was still dead. There were a lot of
punters and girls in the bar, but everyone looked sullen and they didn't
look like they were enjoying their time there at all. Go figure...
Midnight on the other hand, was fun as usual. We got our usual
booth in the back, and settled in for some fun. I notice two
large-breasted girls on the other side of the bar keeping a seemingly very
drunk farang company. We had more than our fair share of girls in
our booth but when the drunk farang wasn't looking, I would try to catch
the large-breasted girls' eyes and wave them over. After a while
they finally noticed me, and would sit on the drunk farang's lap and wave
at me behind his back, but I couldn't get them to come over.
Next stop was Doll House. There weren't a lot of customers in the
bar, but the girls were ready to have some fun so it was easy to get a
A very cute girl staked me out as her customer, and it all started from
there. She was pretty cute, but there was a stunner walking around
selling ping-pong balls that I wouldn't mind getting to know better.
When the cute girl caught me looking at the stunner, she suggested I BF
them both. Now, why hadn't I thought of that…
Shotover found a lovely girl, and disappeared with her to a short time
A beautiful girl was keeping CodeMonkey company, and he was starting to
wish he hadn't made that date with the Ed*n girl. But if any girl
can take a guy showing up for a date with another girl in stride, it's an
Ed*n girl. So he BFed her. CodeMonkey's girl was trying to get
him to BF her friend, but he thought springing a double-header on his Ed*n
girl was enough.
Doozy was also doing pretty well; he was keeping company with a really
nice girl, and the nastiest girl in the bar; and in fact, one of the
nastiest girls I've seen in the business. I lost count of all the
nasty girl's piercings. I wonder if she had anything that wasn't
But Doozy had a head full of quandary; which girl should he choose?
"Why not choose both?"
"Two girls? I don't know, Jai… That sounds pretty
"Dude, this is your last night in Bangkok. It *should*
"But two girls at once?"
"Dude, Bubbles first barfine was two sisters. Are you going
to let him put you to shame? If you go home without barfining two
girls, you're going to be his bitch. And you don't want that!
Now, get over there and barfine those two girls before someone else
Before long, Shotover joined us again and we were all set for the
I was pretty happy when I left the Dollhouse; after all, I did score
the best looking girl and the cutest girl in the shop (at least in my
eyes), and I was proud of Doozy's choices for a double-header. I was
pretty sure that nasty girl would be a wild ride for his last night in
We all walked down to the end of Soi Cowboy, and turned right looking
for a taxi. I don't usually take a taxi from the taxi stand, because
the stand is too close to Sukhumvit and they often can't make that right
turn to get to the Nana Triangle. I've found it's better to walk
past the stand and get a taxi from the street, that way they have a little
time to get over to the right and make that turn.
There's a short time hotel just north of Asoke, and the two girls
thought that we were going there. But when I didn't follow them up
the stairs, they got the idea…
Anyway, my two choices for the evening and I got into a taxi and all
was fine for a few moments. The taxi scooted way over to the right
of Asoke to make that right turn on Sukhumvit; things were looking good.
And then the girls started to talk…
The good-looking girl asked the cute girl if she was going to go ST or
LT. WTF??? I thought I was the one to decide… Like a
good girl, the cute one said it was up to me. But the good-looking
one said no way was she going LT. Hey, no problem for me as I had
quickly decided I was going to get my money's worth from her; in more ways
Then the good-looking girl started calling me "mao
farang!" Now, after the previous night I can't really say I
don't drink to excess. But I think I can honestly say I didn't have
enough to drink that night to be called a "mao farang."
I immediately stopped the taxi, and kicked the good-looking girl out
while handing her 40 THB for a taxi. Then the cute girl got out for
some reason, so I got out. There we were, the three of us standing
at the curb on Sukhumvit and arguing about what we were going to do that
night. The cute girl asked what the problem was, so I told the other
lady was no good, I didn't want her, and that the other lady should go
away. Saying that made the cute girl lean up against me just a
But now I had a problem; all the guys were supposed to meet in front of
NEP, and I was on the wrong side of Morning/Night. There was no way
I could walk a lady past Morning/Night without every girl in the bar
knowing it; and that means GoodGirl. What to do… What to do…
As I was just about on the corner of Soi Sii I couldn't very well take a
taxi to NEP… Maybe walking up Sukhumvit to get a little distance
was a good idea… No, that's a dumb idea… Maybe I should
I felt sorry for the cute girl because she really didn't do anything
wrong, but there was no way I was going to walk her past
Morning/Night. That's just the way it is… So I decided to
take her to Bully's to buy her a few drinks and some food, give her some
money, and then say goodbye there. I can always get another girl…
As we walked up to the pub the cute girl's mobile rang; it was the
good-looking girl. She was sorry, and wanted to join us. I
told the cute girl no, but she told the good-looking one where we were
The phone rang again as we sat down, and this time it was one of
Doozy's girls. Just a minute or two later Doozy and his two ladies
walked in and we had a fun time drinking shotz.
When it was time to leave, I gave the cute girl a goodly amount of baht
and a pat on her fine tush as the rest of us made our way to
On the rail at Morning/Night
I guess it wasn't the smartest thing for me to walk into Morning/Night
with another guy and two girls… Every girl in the place (including
GoodGirl) thought the nasty girl was mine. How ever did I get such a
reputation? GoodGirl wouldn't come over, and neither would any of
the usual girls that kept us company.
We had fun at the bar anyway… As it neared closing time, Doozy
wanted to get something to eat. I understood then why I was getting
the cold shoulder from all the girls at the bar so I told him to go on,
and I would stick around for a while.
GoodGirl noticed when they left (I think she had been watching us out
of the corner of her eye the whole time), and came over to ask why I
didn't leave with my lady.
"She isn't *my* lady. Doozy has two ladies!"
"Wha!" They couldn't believe it. Prolly because
of the way the nasty girl was bouncing back and forth between Doozy and
me. But GoodGirl explained to the staff that the nasty girl was not
with me, and I was in good graces at Morning/Night once again.
CodeMonkey's gamble paid off. Not only did the Ed*n girl take the
second girl in stride, the two became fast friends. The girls
started talking, decided 3 girls would be okay, and convinced CodeMonkey
to send for the other girl. When they got down to business, the Ed*n
girl showed the others a thing or two, and a splendid time was had by all.
I love it when that happens.
GoodGirl and I had a late dinner at the Nana Hotel, and another long
talk. She was willing to get married tomorrow if I would buy her a
"But I don't want to buy a house in Thailand because the laws are
no good for farangs, and besides -- you already own a house."
"My house is too small for you to live, and it's too far away from
"How about you sell your house, and we'll buy a house in Hua Hin?"
"I neber sell my house."
"Okay… How about you rent your house and keep all the
money, and I'll rent a house for us to live in Hua Hin."
"No. If you want marry me, I must have security."
"You already have a house. You already have security."
That caused a lull in the conversation. It was pretty clear that
before GoodGirl would open the kimono any further, she needed to feel more
secure that I wouldn't dump her (or she just wanted to add another house
to her collection).
After a moment, I told her, "I see what I must do. I must
find a way for you to feel secure while still protecting my assets."
"Thailand house should be no problem for you. Thailand house
bery cheap for you."
"If I'm retired, every penny counts."
And that's the truth. I figured I could retire in a few years and
live like a king, but if I quit working today my budget would be a little
The whole thing with GoodGirl was just too bad. I really don't
think she understood that if we were together she would never have to work
again, or she just didn't care. I understand that talk is cheap, and
I'm sure many of these girls have heard every story in the book but I'm
not about to go around buying girls houses to prove I'm sincere. I
was willing to bend over backwards to cooperate, but throwing a house at
the problem was on the wrong side of reasonable for me. After all,
where is *my* security?
I escorted GoodGirl to her car, and went up to my room to give Hoover
the "all clear" signal.
As I was falling asleep later that night, I wondered if I could indeed
make it work with GoodGirl or if it was even worth thinking about…
I guess time will tell…