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 They Started
As Strangers 

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

Part 12

Part 13

Part 14

Part 15

Part 16

Part 17

Epilogue

 

They Started As Strangers
-- Part 12

They Started As Strangers -- Part 12

I can't remember if I set my alarm last night or not, but Cookie and I didn't get out of bed until 11:30.  And that's the time we were supposed to check-out of the Hard Rock Hotel, meet the guys in the lobby, and wait for our private bus back to the Nana Hotel in Bangkok.

We showered as quickly as we could, and shoved our stuff into our bags.  As Cookie was packing, I put a generous amount of baht in an envelope and put it on her purse.  Later, she folded the envelope without looking at it, and placed it in her purse.

Cookie was a nice girl to have around.  I wouldn't mind seeing her again, but I explained to her that we had some shopping to do today and were off to Cambodia tomorrow.  She asked when we would be back, and I said three or four days and left it at that.  We'll just let nature take it's course…

It didn't occur to me at the time that there aren't many forces in nature stronger than a big cat or bargirl on the hunt…

We knew we were late, and rushed down to the lobby.  Even Antman beat me to the lobby this time!  Checking-out was easy, and as I autographed a slip of paper for the third and last time, our bus pulled up to the lobby.

We made pretty good time to the Nana Hotel, and arrived long before 2PM.  I said goodbye to Cookie at the front door of the Nana, and we all went in to get our rooms and drop off our stuff.

Reeb wanted to print out a photo of his girlfriend's daughter so he could get a painting done at MBK, so MikeM and I agreed to take him around to do his errands.

Antman and Wifey were off to visit Wifey's sister in the hospital, but first Antman needed to change some money.  If I told him once, I've told him a hundred times not to use the moneychanger at the entrance to NEP.  And if I told him once, I've told him *two* hundred times to stay at the moneychanger's window until all the money has been counted and he's satisfied that everything is correct.

So what does Antman do?

Antman goes to the moneychanger at the entrance of NEP, changes $800 USD, and puts the wad of baht into his pocket without counting it.

Go ahead.  Say it…  Say it out loud.  I know you want to…

On the way to the hospital, Antman and Wifey stopped at a couple department stores to do a little shopping.  After the third or fourth store, Antman realized that the money he received from the moneychanger wasn't right and began counting it all out in the middle of the mall.  That must have been quite a sight; a little guy like Antman flashing all that baht around…

As it turns out, the girl at the NEP moneychanger did indeed make a mistake; instead of giving Antman change for $800 USD, she gave him change for 800 British Pounds!  A mistake of over 25,000 THB in his favor!

Antman marched Wifey back to the moneychanger and found the teller that served him sitting on the floor and crying her eyes out.  I gotta admit he did the right thing, but I'm sure it would have been hard for a lot of other people I know to do the same thing; especially knowing how many people those ratbastards have ripped off.

Meanwhile…

MikeM, Reeb, and I caught a taxi to Pantip.  We found a place that would print out a photo from Reeb's digital camera's memory chip, and had a snack at KFC while we were waiting.  Perfect timing for me, because I missed breakfast this morning.  I always carry a couple Clif Bars in case my blood sugar drops, but they're not a meal…

We picked up the photo, and took another taxi to MBK.  It wasn't a problem to strike a deal at the painters' shop, and they said we could come back to pick up the painting in a few days.  Perfect for us; we would be in Cambodia for a short visit, and would be able to pick up the painting when we got back.

After MBK, we took the Skytrain to World Coffee for a cool drink and to check our email.

Suddenly and without warning, Reeb grabbed his hindquarters with both hands and exclaimed that he was about to explode.  The way he was pressing his cheeks together made me think some small eruptions had started already.  He hopped over to the World Coffee restroom and shook the door, but it was occupied.  Reeb looked at me with pleading eyes, "What do I do?"

"Do you think you can unload in a coffee cup?

"Hell no!"

"Hotel, dude."

"Hotel?"

"Hotel."

"The Nana is too far away, I'll never make it!"

"You're wasting time talking about it.  I'd be on my way if I were you"

"Maybe I could just wait until the restroom here frees up…"

"Maybe you could just crap your pants and buy another pair from that stall out front..."

Reeb thought about it for all of a millisecond, and the last time I saw him that afternoon he was scooting out the World Coffee door still pressing ham.

MikeM and I moseyed back to the Nana for a short nap before meeting in the lobby for dinner.  I called Reeb's room and he said now that the explosions had subsided, he wouldn't mind filling it up again at Cabbages and Condoms.  So it was set…

Cabbages and Condoms is one of Reeb's favorite restaurants, and I think I can say the same for MikeM and myself.  Some might say it's a little pricey and not "authentic" enough for them, but the food isn't bad and the proceeds are going to worthy causes.  It's hard to argue with that…

We finished our sticky rice with mango just in time to catch a taxi to Bully's Pub and meet the guys at 8PM.  Reeb begged off the evening's stagger saying although he was feeling better, his stomach still wasn't 100% and he didn't think he should wander far from a civilized toilet.

Shortstuff was her usual spunky self when she ran over to hug us hello, but after she took our order she could only pout at us from behind the bar.  I'm not sure what's going on at that place, but Bully's Pub dropped a slot or two in my ranking system when they stopped Shortstuff from visiting us at our table.

MikeM and I grabbed our favorite table and waited for our drinks.  A few moments later the guys started to roll it.  And I was pleasantly surprised to see that CodeMonkey stopped by to have a drink or too.

Tonight's stagger would include MikeM33607, Shotover, and The Dead Men Walking; CodeMonkey and Doozy.  CodeMonkey had never been there before, so as this was his last night in LOS the plan was to hit Soi Cowboy, have a little fun, and get CodeMonkey back to the Nana Triangle for his date with the Ed*n girl at 11PM.  That should give us a couple hours of fun…

We had to split up and take a couple taxies, and joined up again in front of Old Dutch.


Photo courtesy of Doozy
Soi Cowboy

There was a baby elephant wandering around Soi Cowboy that night, and Doozy enjoyed himself as he fed it some bananas.

First stop was Baccara.  I just can't figure that place out.  MikeM and I have had some fun times in Baccara, but usually it's dead in there.  Tonight Baccara was too crowded (we couldn't find a few seats together anywhere), but the bar was still dead.  There were a lot of punters and girls in the bar, but everyone looked sullen and they didn't look like they were enjoying their time there at all.  Go figure...

Midnight on the other hand, was fun as usual.  We got our usual booth in the back, and settled in for some fun.  I notice two large-breasted girls on the other side of the bar keeping a seemingly very drunk farang company.  We had more than our fair share of girls in our booth but when the drunk farang wasn't looking, I would try to catch the large-breasted girls' eyes and wave them over.  After a while they finally noticed me, and would sit on the drunk farang's lap and wave at me behind his back, but I couldn't get them to come over.

Next stop was Doll House.  There weren't a lot of customers in the bar, but the girls were ready to have some fun so it was easy to get a party started.

A very cute girl staked me out as her customer, and it all started from there.  She was pretty cute, but there was a stunner walking around selling ping-pong balls that I wouldn't mind getting to know better.  When the cute girl caught me looking at the stunner, she suggested I BF them both.  Now, why hadn't I thought of that…

Shotover found a lovely girl, and disappeared with her to a short time establishment.

A beautiful girl was keeping CodeMonkey company, and he was starting to wish he hadn't made that date with the Ed*n girl.  But if any girl can take a guy showing up for a date with another girl in stride, it's an Ed*n girl.  So he BFed her.  CodeMonkey's girl was trying to get him to BF her friend, but he thought springing a double-header on his Ed*n girl was enough.

Doozy was also doing pretty well; he was keeping company with a really nice girl, and the nastiest girl in the bar; and in fact, one of the nastiest girls I've seen in the business.  I lost count of all the nasty girl's piercings.  I wonder if she had anything that wasn't pierced...

But Doozy had a head full of quandary; which girl should he choose?

"Why not choose both?"

"Two girls?  I don't know, Jai…  That sounds pretty wild…"

"Dude, this is your last night in Bangkok.  It *should* be wild!"

"But two girls at once?"

"Dude, Bubbles first barfine was two sisters.  Are you going to let him put you to shame?  If you go home without barfining two girls, you're going to be his bitch.  And you don't want that!  Now, get over there and barfine those two girls before someone else does."

Before long, Shotover joined us again and we were all set for the evening.

I was pretty happy when I left the Dollhouse; after all, I did score the best looking girl and the cutest girl in the shop (at least in my eyes), and I was proud of Doozy's choices for a double-header.  I was pretty sure that nasty girl would be a wild ride for his last night in paradise.

We all walked down to the end of Soi Cowboy, and turned right looking for a taxi.  I don't usually take a taxi from the taxi stand, because the stand is too close to Sukhumvit and they often can't make that right turn to get to the Nana Triangle.  I've found it's better to walk past the stand and get a taxi from the street, that way they have a little time to get over to the right and make that turn.

There's a short time hotel just north of Asoke, and the two girls thought that we were going there.  But when I didn't follow them up the stairs, they got the idea…

Anyway, my two choices for the evening and I got into a taxi and all was fine for a few moments.  The taxi scooted way over to the right of Asoke to make that right turn on Sukhumvit; things were looking good.

And then the girls started to talk…

The good-looking girl asked the cute girl if she was going to go ST or LT.  WTF???  I thought I was the one to decide…  Like a good girl, the cute one said it was up to me.  But the good-looking one said no way was she going LT.  Hey, no problem for me as I had quickly decided I was going to get my money's worth from her; in more ways than one.

Then the good-looking girl started calling me "mao farang!"  Now, after the previous night I can't really say I don't drink to excess.  But I think I can honestly say I didn't have enough to drink that night to be called a "mao farang."

I immediately stopped the taxi, and kicked the good-looking girl out while handing her 40 THB for a taxi.  Then the cute girl got out for some reason, so I got out.  There we were, the three of us standing at the curb on Sukhumvit and arguing about what we were going to do that night.  The cute girl asked what the problem was, so I told the other lady was no good, I didn't want her, and that the other lady should go away.  Saying that made the cute girl lean up against me just a little harder.

But now I had a problem; all the guys were supposed to meet in front of NEP, and I was on the wrong side of Morning/Night.  There was no way I could walk a lady past Morning/Night without every girl in the bar knowing it; and that means GoodGirl.  What to do…  What to do…  As I was just about on the corner of Soi Sii I couldn't very well take a taxi to NEP…  Maybe walking up Sukhumvit to get a little distance was a good idea…  No, that's a dumb idea…  Maybe I should punt…

I felt sorry for the cute girl because she really didn't do anything wrong, but there was no way I was going to walk her past Morning/Night.  That's just the way it is…  So I decided to take her to Bully's to buy her a few drinks and some food, give her some money, and then say goodbye there.  I can always get another girl…

As we walked up to the pub the cute girl's mobile rang; it was the good-looking girl.  She was sorry, and wanted to join us.  I told the cute girl no, but she told the good-looking one where we were going anyway.


Bully's Pub

The phone rang again as we sat down, and this time it was one of Doozy's girls.  Just a minute or two later Doozy and his two ladies walked in and we had a fun time drinking shotz.

When it was time to leave, I gave the cute girl a goodly amount of baht and a pat on her fine tush as the rest of us made our way to Morning/Night.


On the rail at Morning/Night

I guess it wasn't the smartest thing for me to walk into Morning/Night with another guy and two girls…  Every girl in the place (including GoodGirl) thought the nasty girl was mine.  How ever did I get such a reputation?  GoodGirl wouldn't come over, and neither would any of the usual girls that kept us company.

We had fun at the bar anyway…  As it neared closing time, Doozy wanted to get something to eat.  I understood then why I was getting the cold shoulder from all the girls at the bar so I told him to go on, and I would stick around for a while.

GoodGirl noticed when they left (I think she had been watching us out of the corner of her eye the whole time), and came over to ask why I didn't leave with my lady.

"She isn't *my* lady.  Doozy has two ladies!"

"Wha!"  They couldn't believe it.  Prolly because of the way the nasty girl was bouncing back and forth between Doozy and me.  But GoodGirl explained to the staff that the nasty girl was not with me, and I was in good graces at Morning/Night once again.

Meanwhile…

CodeMonkey's gamble paid off.  Not only did the Ed*n girl take the second girl in stride, the two became fast friends.  The girls started talking, decided 3 girls would be okay, and convinced CodeMonkey to send for the other girl.  When they got down to business, the Ed*n girl showed the others a thing or two, and a splendid time was had by all.

I love it when that happens.

GoodGirl and I had a late dinner at the Nana Hotel, and another long talk.  She was willing to get married tomorrow if I would buy her a house.

"But I don't want to buy a house in Thailand because the laws are no good for farangs, and besides -- you already own a house."

"My house is too small for you to live, and it's too far away from Bangkok."

"How about you sell your house, and we'll buy a house in Hua Hin?"

"I neber sell my house."

"Okay…  How about you rent your house and keep all the money, and I'll rent a house for us to live in Hua Hin."

"No.  If you want marry me, I must have security."

"You already have a house.  You already have security."

That caused a lull in the conversation.  It was pretty clear that before GoodGirl would open the kimono any further, she needed to feel more secure that I wouldn't dump her (or she just wanted to add another house to her collection).

After a moment, I told her, "I see what I must do.  I must find a way for you to feel secure while still protecting my assets."

"Thailand house should be no problem for you.  Thailand house bery cheap for you."

"If I'm retired, every penny counts."

And that's the truth.  I figured I could retire in a few years and live like a king, but if I quit working today my budget would be a little tighter.

The whole thing with GoodGirl was just too bad.  I really don't think she understood that if we were together she would never have to work again, or she just didn't care.  I understand that talk is cheap, and I'm sure many of these girls have heard every story in the book but I'm not about to go around buying girls houses to prove I'm sincere.  I was willing to bend over backwards to cooperate, but throwing a house at the problem was on the wrong side of reasonable for me.  After all, where is *my* security?

I escorted GoodGirl to her car, and went up to my room to give Hoover the "all clear" signal.

As I was falling asleep later that night, I wondered if I could indeed make it work with GoodGirl or if it was even worth thinking about…

I guess time will tell…

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Ommmmmm

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