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 No Party Too Far 

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

Part 12

Part 13

Part 14

Part 15

Part 16

Part 17

Epilogue

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No Party Too Far -- Part 13

No Party Too Far -- Part 13

Antman was MIA, again.  We later found out the superstar tossed in his lap last night bumped nasties with Antman until the sun came up, and then dragged him out to make early morning merit at a temple.  No doubt to make up for some of the things she did to Antman last night.  He didn't make it back to the room until around 7 AM. 

Servicing these BGs can be taxing, but we get by.....  One day at a time....

Something the gentlereader should know is that back in the real world, Antman sleeps 12 hours a day.  That's right, 12 hours each and every day.  Not 8 or 9 or 10 or even 11, but 12 whole hours each day.  Poor guy...  For the last week his daily ration of sleep was cut from 12 to 2 or 3 hours, he's got jet-lag, soi food was ravaging his insides, he caught a cold, he got the clap, and bargirls were having their way with him.  But I gotta give the guy some credit; he kept trying.  Sort of...  Any way...  Good for him; he's starting to push the envelope a little.

~               ~               ~

MikeM33607, Sip and I met for breakfast in the King's Club Lounge.  It wasn't a full breakfast like they have in the dining room, more like a Euro-breakfast so we went down to the Front Desk to get some breakfast vouchers for the real show. 

The breakfast in the dinning room was just as I remembered it; wonderful.  They even added a couple of Thai soups which made Sip happy.  My only complaint is they had those McDonald's style hash browns instead of proper potatoes, but the breakfast was pretty good.


The headboard in my room.
Drop trou, turn around, and see these two laughing?
Not a confidence builder...

After brushing our teeth, Sip and I stopped in the King's Club Lounge for a minute to check email, then it was down to Cabana 9 for a little R&R.

MikeM33607 met us there with a finely hand-crafted sign, which we proudly hung on our cabana.  Who knows, maybe someone will stop by and we can buy them a drink.


The NanaCabana

Relaxing poolside at the Hard Rock Hotel is just what the doctor ordered.  The DJ played a great selection of songs until Happy Hour, and then the live band played for a while on the pool stage.  There was a gentle breeze blowing in from the beach, so that kept us relatively cool.  But if we did get hot, we could just take a dip in the pool.  All one has to do is snap their fingers once for a watermelon spinner, or snap them twice for a spinner of a completely different kind.  Ain't this the life?


View of the swim-up bar from the NanaCabana

If we were hungry, a little wave to the swim-up bar would summon a waitress and we would place our orders of satay, spring rolls, crab cakes, or what ever we felt like snacking on.  It's good to be the king!


Pretty much my view for 3 fantastic days.

We agreed to meet at 6:30 for a 7 PM dinner reservation at Tankay on Walking Street.  Tankay really isn't the kind of place to require reservations.  In fact, from the way they responded we may have been the first to ever make a reservation there.  But we wanted to be very sure we got a waterside table.

Good thing, too!  When we got there all the tables were taken save for one by the water.  I'd like to think they reserved it for me, but who knows.  I'm not so sure they really understood what a reservation is.

The food was average when compared to all the places we've eaten at the last couple weeks, but the service and that wonderfully cool breeze off the water make it a place worth going back to.

As it turned out, Antman had barfined the same girl again a day in advance.  That's all he could talk about and he wanted to go straight back to the bar to pick her up. He was worse than Burnout with the Two Sisters story.  Unfortunately, Antman couldn't remember where the bar was and no one was interested in taking him there at the moment.  Poor guy...

We wanted to visit Giligan's Ago-go and work our way up and down the sois to Walking Street.  Antman had the habit of falling in love with every girl that smiled at him so I don't think he was too happy with our plan, but he was sure to have fun on our little crawl.

On the way to Giligan's, we passed a street stall selling magic tricks.  We stayed there for a little while enjoying the show.  Someone (MikeM33607 or Antman) sprung for the magic rings, which was a good way to reward the stall-keeper for the show, and ensure some fun in the bars we were about to visit.

Giligan's is not a big flashy go-go, but it is a fun little place.  Drink prices are reasonable, and they have a couple cute girls working there that would prolly pull a lot more barfines if they were working somewhere else.  One big negative for me is that they have a little monkey caged in the corner.  That was pretty sad to see.

I spotted a couple cuties sitting at the bar and encouraged Antman to go over and buy them a ladydrink.  He thought he needed a little time to build up some courage (as usual), but I tried to explain to him that time only increases fear, time doesn't build courage.  But my sage advice fell upon deaf ears.  Or very scared ears...

One of the cuties noticed me talking about her, signaled to her friend, they both came over, and of course sat right in MikeM33607's lap.  I nudged Antman saying, "You see? You snooze you lose."  But he looked relieved he didn't have to speak with them; they were just too damn attractive.

I flirted with a few girls, and the bar cranked up a notch; girls actually started dancing on the stage, instead of doing that buffalo shuffle thing.

I nudged Sip, and told her to go ring the bell.

"Oh, leally?!?!"

"Yeah, go ring it.  It'll be fun."

Sip was out of her seat in a flash, and ran to the bell.  She didn't just give it a little ring, she rang the bell like the cook calling the cowboys to the chuckwagon.  All the girls started cheering and clapping.

Sip walked proudly back to her seat with her nose high in the air, waiting for what would happen next.

It the gentlereader has never rung the bell, all I can say it that it's fun to do.  One pretty much instantly becomes Jai Dee and will get hugs and attention from all the girls in the bar for a while.

I've rung the bell a few times, but I'm not really sure how it works.  (That's about right for my experience in Thailand...)  It seems ringing the bell in some bars buys a drink for ever girl on the stage, in others it means a drink for every girl in the bar, and in still others it means a drink for everybody - girls and customers.  The other thing is that ringing the bells always seems to be three times more expensive than I figured it should be.  I don't think I've been ripped off really, it's just that girls come out of the woodwork and the girls will order anything they want, instead of just ladydrinks.  Still, it's a small price to pay for so much fun.

In Giligan's, ringing the bell bought drinks for all the girls and punters.

Sip sat like a queen waiting as the procession began.  One by one, the girls walked over to the bar, picked up their drink of choice, and carried it over to Sip to give her a wai and a "Kop kuhn kaah."  I love the way they say that.  Sip just sat there with a smile a mile wide.

As there were six or so girls dancing on the stage, it took a little while for all the girls to get a drink.  But they all did.

I really only wanted to stay for a drink or two, so after all the girls in the club paid their respects to Sip, I checked bin.  MikeM33607 and Antman may have been surprised I checked bin so fast but there are a lot of bars to visit in Pattaya, and I didn't want to waste any time.

Next stop was Planet Rock.  The right punter can make it a fun place, but there are just so many sour faced punters nursing their beers while staring at the dancers, that sometimes it's hard to get the party started.

I'm able to make eye contact with a couple girls, and the place cranks up a notch.  A hottie stepped down from the stage and I promptly grabbed her and tossed her in Antman's lap.  MikeM33607 was entertaining the girls with his feats of magic -- those rings were worth their weight in gold.  Word spread like wildfire that there was a magic man in the house.  The news was just too much, and soon the mamasan and papasan came over to investigate.  MikeM33607 had them both stumpified.  Try as they might, neither could figure out the secret of the magic rings.  It was a joy to watch.

There was one girl dancing up a storm on the stage.  I just had to give her a little tip, and she promptly dropped to her knees and gave me the deepest wai.  I don't think I've felt the same slipping dollars into garters anywhere else in the world.

They had a lucky dip going on, so we all bought tickets and were awarded with free drinks.  Not bad; we could use the tickets for more drinks or apply the tickets to the check bin.  Antman had a sense for choosing the B52 ticket, and had quite the little audience around him teaching him new ways to drink them.

The lucky dip girl came around again, but I was all dipped out.  She begged me to buy one more ticket and she would guaranty a prize.  I couldn't say no to that, so I handed over another 100 baht note.  She selected number 13 saying, "Sip som not lucky for many people, bery lucky for me!"  She handed me the ticket to the honors, and upon opening it discovered I won a Planet Rock t-shirt.  That will make a nice souvenir.

We checked bin again, and hit the road; this time ducking in to Emergency Ago-go.  I always thought their little nurses go-go outfits were cute, so I wanted to check the place out.  With only one foot in the bar I could see it was doomed.  Another place full of punters with sour faces staring at the girls, who were staring at themselves in the mirrors.  This place had the stench of death; there was no way we were going to get a party started here.

I quickly backed out, but Antman was dragged in by a katoey that wouldn't let go.  Poor guy.  I don't know if he has a thing for katoeys, but they must see something in him and make a beeline for him every time.  Then again...

MikeM33607 and I watched him dance with the katoey in the doorway while we figured out which bar to go to next.

Antman finally got away from that tanglely katoey bargirl web and joined us on our way to Rodeo Girls.  There's not much to say about that bar; one girl was a dancer, and the rest just stared at their reflections while doing the Buffalo Shuffle.  A guy brought everyone cold cloths and then demanded payment.  That sucks...  Antman was dancing in his seat, and one of the girls dragged him up on stage.  I tried to stop him, but he said he was having fun.  One drink and we were gone.

MikeM33607 met a girl the night before at the Peppermint Ago-go, and wanted to see if she was there tonight.  The Peppermint was my kind of place; girls everywhere dancing with big smiles on their faces.  And the girls working behind the bar were topless!  We were shown to seats at the bar, and immediately got to work making time with the girls.  MikeM33607 spotted the girl, and ran off to bring her over.  After introductions and a quick ladydrink, she was gone.  I asked if he paid bar but he said she didn't do long time, so he cut her loose.  Wow, and that coming from the Short Time King!

Next stop is Super Girl so Antman can pick up his barfine.  MikeM33607 spots a girl that tickles his fancy, so it's just Sip and I to entertain all the rest of the girls there.  Alas MikeM33607 isn't gone long as he found another girl that doesn't do long time.

While he was away, I spotted a sharp looking girl that really knew how to dance.  I was seriously thinking about barfining her and taking her home with me and Sip, but I figured I'd give MikeM33607 first dibs.  I had been "communicating" with her while she was dancing, so I was pretty sure she would come by.  As soon as she was within reach, I pulled her over.  After introductions, I discovered she was room mates with Antman's girl.  The new girl and MikeM33607 spent a short time talking, and he quickly barfined her.  Damn, damn, damn...  And I was sooo close...

The room mates went off to change, and I checked bin.

When all the guys had a girl securely tucked under their arm, we hit Beach Road and grabbed a taxi to the Hard Rock Hotel.  A splendid time was guaranteed for all.

Ain't this the life?

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Ommmmmm

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This page was last updated on 29 August, 2004
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