Don't Ask; Don't
-- Part 6
This series of trip reports was written by my good friend, Chewie.
It covers the APPLE Gang Tour and it's
interesting to have these reports to see things from a different
“Double Trouble Day”
RING RING RING… RING RING RING... RING RING RING...
I answer the phone and notice that it is 7:30am. I start getting
the same feeling you have when you lean back in your chair and catch
yourself before falling backwards.
It is OH and she wants to come up to the room. I tell her that I
am on my way down soon and to wait for me in the lobby. I roll over
and my prize from the night before leans into me and I tell AWE that it is
time to get up. I head to the shower. When I am finished, she
asks me what I am doing and I tell her about meeting JaiGuru and
going to the floating market for the day.
AWE: I come wit you?
I tell her that it might be a little odd, as I have invited another
friend to come with me on this trip. She still wants to come and
being still hypnotized from the previous evenings events, I tell her she
is coming. I work out a plan that I go down early and let OH know
that I had made a mistake asking her to come with me today. I
thought about telling her that we canceled the trip, but I’m sure she
would want to just hang around with me all day anyway. I come to a
decision to let her know that we are friends and I wanted to see her on
this trip. I am glad that she has come over this morning. We
are going to have a great time. And by the way, someone else is
OH: No poblem.
ME: COOL. (Dodged a bullet here for now).
We go to the coffee shop and get a table for seven people. Soon JaiGuru
and SIP join us and I introduce her to them. ANTMAN comes a
few minutes later. We all head over to get some of the buffet and I
notice AWE come into the coffee shop. I set my plate of food down
and show AWE to the buffet and return to the table with OH. I
introduce AWE and OH and they sit on either side of me. I’m not
sure what ANTMAN and JaiGuru are thinking at the moment and
I casually let them know my situation. They don’t blink an eye and
soon we are ready to leave the hotel.
I bring my frozen water from my room and have plenty for the three of
We walk down to SUK to catch taxis. JaiGuru, ANTMAN
and SIP in one taxi and my ménage a trios in the other. Soon JaiGuruand
crew have to switch taxis, as the driver didn’t want to take them where
we are going. It is a good hike to where we are going.
I have a potential time bomb on my hands with these two ladies.
Did I mention it was a long drive?
To break the ice, I try to get them talking and it works. I tell
Awe about some of the great things I did on my first two trips to Thailand
and about how OH has kept in contact over the last 2 years. I had OH
in the front seat and AWE in the back seat with me. OH was very
friendly with us and they both started to get along fine. I think OH
liked that I talked about so many positive things we have done.
Things actually were working out very well.
We get down to the floating market and the place looks deserted. Upon
further inspection it was obviously closed. We are alert enough to
pay some extra baht to our to wait for us in case we had to leave.
There were no other taxis around.
We walk down to the water and there are some food stalls with locals
having lunch. It looks like a place to get rural eating experience,
eating on the floor/dock. It is the kind of place that looks and
feels Thai and if I was hungry for lunch, I’m sure I would have pulled
up a mat to sit on.
I liked the feel of this dock and it may be a place
I go on a return trip to have a meal.
We look around the dock area and someone comes up with the idea of
taking a speedboat around the klongs. Some simple questions are
asked such as if we want a 1 hour or 2 hour trip. What do we want to
do? We decide on two things quickly as they were easy
directions. We will pay for the 2-hour trip, which is about 800 baht
for everyone and let them figure it out where we are going and we will go
with the flow. If we want to cut it short we can with no
problems. All we ask is that we are dropped off to catch the boat
taxi. The boat taxi can take us to the Skytrain and we can make it
back home base.
No pressure, change of plans. TIT at its finest.
The boat itself is perfect for our group of six. JaiGuru and
SIP sit upfront, then ANTMAN, then OH. Finally AWE and I sit
together in the back. With my size, I can cause the boat to capsize
with little effort on my part. In fact, I think many of the turns we
made had everyone looking my way to get to the other side so we didn’t
take on water. LOL
Our speedboat makes its way down one
of the narrow water soi's on our trip.
Some of the best things happen when you least expect them and our
impromptu sightseeing trip was full of surprises. Overall it was
another blistering hot day. We were spared the heat with the cool
breeze as we moved along the water and seeking shade when we pulled over
for side trips. When it got to hot, we simply shoved on and we
cooled down again.
This was one of the more worn structures on water, there were some MUCH
nicer Thai homes that I don't seem to have saved. Hopefully, JaiGuru
or Antman can post a couple in replies.
We are out in the sticks of Bangkok. It is amazing to see the
contrast of life on the water streets with that of the big city not far
way. The homes on the waterways offer a wide range of styles.
This range includes some shacks to some rather elaborate traditional
homes. Everywhere we go children and adults wave to us as we go
buy. Smiles are big and we see some generally happy people on our
trip. Some are swimming and others are bathing in the water.
One child was in his birthday suit on his family’s deck. It was a
delightful slice of Thai life you can only witness getting out of the
Here a soup vendor makes her way down one of the water soi's.
Several entrepreneurs could be seen hocking their services like ice
cream trucks. Some with loud speakers.
Our first stop is at a Temple and we are offered some fresh bread for
10 baht to feed some enormous catfish. These catfish are very
healthy and swarm around the pieces of bread that are tossed in. I
ask if the bread is ok to try and JaiGuru suggests that I don’t
eat the crust because I have no idea what the crust has touched.
Good suggestion. It is good bread mainly because it is so fresh.
We were splashed a couple times by the catfish
wrestling for the bread crumbs.
Our baker presents us with loaves of bread to feed the catfish.
We head out again and take in more of the sights. The outdoor
Spirit Houses are beautiful and offer the same diversity as the homes they
are paired with.
Soon we stop by an Orchid farm. This looks like a place that has
visitors often, as there is some sodas and water available to
purchase. I’m sure JaiGuru will talk about how we witnessed
the BG network cell developing before our own eyes in his trip
reports. Before we leave, the ladies were taking notice of some
small orchids they have on display for purchase. I decide to get one
each for my ladies and SIP declines the offer. She is going to take
a clipping of AWE’s in a few months when her's grows more.
Humm I think. That is odd. They just met this
morning. SIP flew up from Phuket and they only met for the first
time a couple hours ago. How is she going to get a clipping from Awe
in a few months…? A Bar Girl network cell has been developed
before our very own eyes.
Our next stop was in the middle of tourist trap central. None of
us had an interest seeing the snake show or even the alligator show
further down the water soi. T he day was running long and we ask to be
dropped off so we can catch the boat taxi and call it a day.
We get on the boat taxi and it is packed. Standing room only and
we are literally shoulder-to-shoulder on the taxi. Somehow the fare
collector makes her rounds and collects enough baht for our ride.
We want to get back to the GBB as GOONER and HAMMERS were
leaving late afternoon and we wanted to see them off. On the train, JaiGuru
helps me with an exit strategy for my pair of ladies. I need to
cut one from the herd and send her packing. I need to do this on the
way back to the hotel as it would only get more complicated the longer we
stay together. I decide to stop and get some fruit for my guests and
I. ANTMAN wasn’t included in the plan and I have to fill
him in as the separation plan was underway. ANTMAN was great
to wait for us; he just didn’t know I was trying to toss one of my fish
back in the water. It would be easier if it were only the three of
I start by thanking OH for taking the time to do something with me
today. I praised her for keeping in touch and give her brown note
for taxi fare and wish her good luck. It took her a moment to
realize she was getting the boot. She was a good sport and took the
hints and got in the cab I hailed for her. I t would have gone smoother if
they had not combined bags earlier with the plants. They separate
them and soon OH’s taxi disappears in the busy road. The traffic
was moving quickly as the last thing I wanted to happen was for her to
watch me walk by all the way back to Nana.
AWE and I plan to go take a nap and almost forgot about our departing
friends. We see the crew GBB and head over. HAMMERS and
GOONERS have their talics with them and the long face on my
friend's tells me “dead men walking”. We share a round or two
and shot for good luck. We take some group pictures that came out
very well. Soon JaiGuru and I decide we should let them have
some time to themselves as they were heading for the airport in a few
minutes. We bid each other farewell and head up to our rooms.
It is time for an afternoon session before dinner.
We take a refreshing shower and my power rangerette goes to work and I
quickly forget the quilt of leaving OH the way I did. I do insist on
wearing a jimmy hat and telling her to be careful herself. Like I
said earlier in my report, she was new to the scene. How new you
ask? New enough not to own a cell phone new. New enough to
being only working a bar for three days and me being her second farang
shag. (Ok…Bob4You was the first one…don’t need to be
reminded). She was sweet.
We are dead tired and however we wanted to met JaiGuru, SIP and ANTMAN
for diner at Cabbage and Condoms. I call and tell them that I am
dead tired and so is my playmate. JaiGuru doesn’t take NO
for an answer and soon I am rejuvenated to go to dinner. I think I
called back once more to cancel to no avail. I’m glad I went.
We met in the lobby and AWE looks great in her new clothes we bought on
the way back to the hotel. She needed a change of clothes since she
had not gone home from the night before. Night SIP is much different
then TOURIST SIP. She is done up. We hail a taxi from Nana, as
I wasn’t interested in getting hot and sweaty walking anywhere at the
We pile into one taxi. Of course I was in the front and the four
of them are packed in the back. We start off ok and then notice we
are only going 20-25 mph or so. We go about a three or four miles
like this and the driver says nothing. Finally some Thai is spoken
and we find out we are making his wheels hit the edge of wheel well.
We are too heavy for the taxi. Instead of stopping and telling us to
get out, he goes slowly so he doesn’t damage his car. We get up on
a main road and hail another taxi and ANTMAN and I get into
it. We follow each other and soon JaiGuru’s taxi is out of
sight. We are lost.
ANTMAN has been there before and gives the impression he has no
clue where we are going. I get frustrated and ANTMAN stays
calm and soon we get where we are going. GOOD JOB ANTMAN.
Dinner is good and I am introduced to watermelon spinners.
Basically, they take a ripest watermelon, put it in a blender and mix it
up. I’m not sure if ice is added or not. All I can say is
that it was great. Sometime this summer during that two-week period
when watermelon is as sweet in the US as it is in Bangkok, I will enjoy
some watermelon spinners in my home. I think they would even be good
with a little Malibu rum in them. They were good.
Another treat I highly recommend is sticky rice and mango.
Individually these treats are tasty. When combined, they cause a
taste bud explosion when eaten. I think JaiGuru said the
trick is to get that perfect amount of mango and sticky rice together for
each bite. If I weren’t already stuffed, I would have ordered
more. My mouth waters thinking about the dish.
We head back to TLR and the crew is in full swing and NYSAINT is
passing out shots. SIP and AWE take up spots in the chill out room
and the two talk for a while. Soon I find myself going on a crawl
with a NYSAINT and BURNOUT. When we are ready to
leave, JaiGuru and ANTMAN have left the building…
SIP doesn’t know where they are and she decides to hang out with
us. I know JaiGuru was looking for some "me time",
as it was his last night in town. We all head to AW. When we
get there, I notice JaiGuru and ANTMAN inside. I go in
and let JaiGuru know that SIP was looking for him and she was
outside. I’m not sure he understood that we would occupy her and
go someplace else so he could do whatever he wanted. He comes out
and we head in. I never saw JaiGuru the rest of the
night. I know SIP wanted to go to Angles Disco and I try to develop
a plan to free JaiGuru for the evening or at least occupy his
partner long enough for him to slip away for a little snack before
leaving. The plan was to get a BF from Mandarin he mentioned earlier
in his trip before SIP showed up and have her waiting in his room as a
going away present. The idea was scuttled when the girl was already
BF for the evening. She a hot number, that was the second time I
checked in on her and she was BF this week!
I break away from the pack and head over to Soi Cowboy so AWE can pay
her BF. We get to Sheeba’s and settle in for a couple
drinks. I order a couple shots of tequila and a Mekong and coke for
her. I have a beer. We start off joking about lesbian
love. She is actually interested in the experience. I ask her
which girls she is attracted too and she picks one. She goes over to
the stage and starts dancing with her and brings her over. I repeat
the shots of tequila and order her the Mekong and coke. I talk with
her about the idea and she is interested in it as well.
I now think it is necessary to see how compatible the two ladies will
be together. I think a kiss is in order and I’m not talking a
little peck on the check. I want to see lots of tongue action and
hands giving assurance to each other. Soon they are clicking and I
order another round of shots for us.
She, we will call her #3 (I was going to use SAM, if it wasn’t GB
that told me how to say THREE in Thai), spoke almost no English and makes
it known she cannot stay long because she has school in the morning.
Later in the session, Awe comments it is strange. “She work
in bar for 6 year and go to university but can not speak English?
This is strange,” she said.
We order some food and we all take showers. The room was chilly
because of the aircon. I opened the windows and soon it was
warm. The food comes. #3 heads to the bed after eating.
Awe comes out of the shower and has something to eat. When we
finish, #3 claims she is too cold to do anything. Awe and her talk a
little in Thai and soon the covers and towel come off #3.
I’m not sure what #3 thought was going to happen, however, Awe was as
interested in the session as I was. We were both looking at our
chosen one thinking we could have picked a better third wheel. It is
funny now to think back on it, we both decided early on we were going to
make the best of it while she was there. We were a team.
We both get to pleasing #3 and making her feel comfortable with both of
us. She is very satisfied and when AWE and I start at it, #3 slips
off to the bathroom looking like she was done. She comes back and
she’s not sure what is going on. AWE and I inform her that it was
MY turn now and proceed to get out some hats. Then, I find out then
that she doesn’t smoke.
DAMM: Not to self, make sure girl wants to smoke if taking her for
I quickly become the director of activities and get the two of them
going at each other. Later, AWE lets me know that #3 was not too
into the lesbian love until she started playing with her as I
directed. Once she found how tight and shapely AWE was up close she
could tell she enjoyed what she was doing.
#3 gets up on top and we start going at it. As I prepare to nut I
switch girls to save the money shot. Then it happens. The
money shot retreats too far and getting it back was quickly becoming a
lost cause. Awe is quick to notice and a change is in order to get
things back on track. #3 had left another time to go to the bathroom
in the middle of the session and had to come back to finish the job.
The session ends with Awe and I pleasing each other and #3 giving a hand
job. I WISH SHE SMOKED! At some point I got lost with AWE and
was looking forward to seeing #3 leave. Soon I am finished and #3
prepares to leave. AWE and #3 talk a while and I find out later that
#3 left each time she had an orgasm. She was impressed with the
session and wanted to come back again.
We send her on her way and take a much-needed sleep.
To be continued...
NOTE: I have only one more report in this series. My last
day was not that great so don’t expect much, but then again I may just
be loosing the plot. Come to think of it, I can’t think of one
positive thing that happened. I made some poor decisions on the last
day and it was too late to correct them once I realized my
situation. Soon I was on my way to the airport.