strange guy 
 in paradise 

part 1

part 2

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part 3

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part 4 

part 5

part 6

part 7

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part 8

part 9

part 10

part 11

part 12

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strange guy in paradise -- part 2

today's plan is to attend the 5th annual thanksgiving bash.

i've got hours to kill before the dinner starts at 3pm, so it's off to starbucks to get caught up on my trip reports.

as i left the nana hotel parking lot i was surprised to see the "closed at 2am" sign at nep.  i don't remember seeing that up before.

i headed out to starbucks for a caramel frappuccino and get caught up on yesterday's trip report.

as i'm sipping by caramel frappuccino and typing away on my trip report, a japanese tourist comes up to me and asks if i will connect to the internet for him.  at least i guessed he was a tourist -- after all, he did have a camera around his neck.  he assumed all palms are wireless (maybe they are in tokyo), but he's right out of luck because mine isn't.  he's around 50, and his 80-year-old mother is about to come back from the states.  he would like to tell her what kind of cigarettes to buy in duty free for him, and he needed some help deciding which brands to ask for.  against my better judgment i list some of the more popular brands.  of course he comes up with reasons not to like every brand i can think of.  after i exhaust my knowledge of american cigarettes, i tell him smoking isn't good for his heath and he should quit.  he had a most puzzled look on his face.  it was if he had never heard the news before.  as he was staring at me in disbelief, a japanese woman started calling to him from the other side of starbucks.  he shot out of his seat like a rocket and left.  how do i attract these people?

ride skytrain to mo chit and tour the weekend market.  not much goes on at the weekend market on a weekday.  a few vendors are selling plants and flowers, but that's about it.  but the complex is large enough that it deserves a visit on the weekend to see what really goes on.

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it was great meeting some of the guys from the forums at the thanksgiving bash.  i was lucky to be sitting at a table with indiana jack, thalenoi, and mikem33607.  indiana jack shared a wealth of information on pattaya and the painters bars, thalenoi shared years of his experiences in thailand, and mikem33607 was a general great guy to have around.  and if that stimulating conversation and visually stimulating cheerleaders weren't enough, the dinning guests were favored with a bad joke or two from <sorry, i forgot the name>, and some too short anecdotes and readings by dean barret.

the food was top shelf, and although we really didn't need the cheerleaders to encourage us to eat, they were beautiful girls and we were fortunate to have two of them dine at our table.  if this continues to be an annual event, i'll be there.

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finger-lickin' good!

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mikem33607 and i discovered we were both staying at the nana hotel, and decided to share a taxi.  we were firmly stuck in one of bangkok's traffic jams, so we had lot time to talk about places we've been and places we would like to go.  we both admitted indiana jack had whetted our interest to visit the painters bars.  after a quick pit stop at the nana, we regrouped and headed off to the skytrain.

we got off at the correct stop, but headed down sukhumvit in the wrong direction.  that little faux pas was quickly noticed by mikem33607 (eyes of an eagle he has) and we promptly spun around and started off again.  the painters bars is a nice little area; quite a few bars are named after painters and the bars are spaced far enough apart that you can catch your breath between stops.  it also has the most beautiful hello girls i have ever seen!  but if you are on a budget or a backpacker, stay away.  the prices they charge there will empty your wallet faster than a gang of king's group girls.

then again; if you aren't afraid to part with your hard earned baht and like to spend time with beautiful women, this is the place.

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we walked quite a way down the street and picked the bar we would first enter.  did i say the hello girls were beautiful?  after the commotion of entering the bar, sawadii krapping everyone, having beautiful girls rush to our side with warm flannels; what did we notice but indiana jack sitting at the bar!  indiana jack offered some sage advice on dealing with the savage beasts and how to enjoy ourselves in the painters.  he's an absolutely great guy.  indiana jack also introduced me to one of the most beautiful girls i have ever seen.  i still don? know why i didn? bf her on the spot ?i must have been stunned.

after a drink or two, we all said our goodbyes, with mikem33607 and i heading out to visit more painters.  somehow we ended up at napoleon?.  i'm not aware he painted anything although i'm sure he had a lot of free time on alba, but what the hell he was a dead french guy.  that would be funny -- change the name to dead french guy street!

napoleon? was an embarrassment of riches; there must have been 20-30 really beautiful girls in gowns and mikem33607 and i are the only customers in the place.  we were escorted to the bar and surrounded by our admirers.  damn these tom cruise looks!  after a few moments of idle chitchat we noticed a foosball machine in the corner and started to play. mikem33607 pretty much waxed me.  i don't know how many balls there were, but it was that number to zip each and every game.

from here things start to get a little hazy.  i somehow ended up with a girl on my side, and then mikem33607 had one on his.  then i had two, and mikem33607 had two.  and before you know it, we had three!  even with their help, my team couldn't beat mikem33607's!  we played quite a few games and it was really a lot of fun with girls helping us on both sides, and also a very attractive audience didn't hurt.  i got the wise idea during one of the games that if i grabbed the opposing goalie's turnie thingie with my free hand maybe one of our attempts would make it in the goal.  the moment i grabbed it, the bargirl alarm went off and the mamasan came running.  she said that was not allowed so as a penalty i must hold her hand with my free hand.  as penalties go, i would say it was not too painful.

we played a few more games and as a reward bought all the girls a drink.  they deserved it!

after the drinks were passed out, mikem33607 and a cutie that he found, and me and the mamasan retired to a table in the back.  the mamasan at napoleon? is a real live wire.  if you get a chance, stop in and buy her a drink.  we spent some time getting to know each other, and then we noticed the pool table.  actually, i think the girls wanted to challenge us to a game.  all i can tell you is that i suck at pool more than i suck at foosball.  the only thing i've got going for me is these tom cruise good looks, so i begged off.  mikem33607 would have to brave it alone.  mikem33607 will have to correct me if i'm wrong, but i think he got roundly trounced big time.  i wasn't paying much attention because i was enjoying talking with the mamasan and one of the girls decided i needed a massage.  could it get much better?

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i wasn't really in a barfine state of mind mainly because we wanted to meet showtime at playskool that night for more thanksgiving festivities.  i didn't think it would be a good idea to drag a couple girls with us.  i also had a funny feeling that taking these girls out to nep might be a step down for them.

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mikem33607 played a few more games of pool and called it quits.  as luck would have it, we would have to beat feet to make it to playskool to be there on time.  i don't remember how we got there, but we did indeed make it on time.

we walked in to playskool, recognized one of the guys from the dinner, and decided this must be the place!  members of our group started to wander in, and the fun began.  some had pictures of last night's party, which were passed around with a flashlight i think commandeered from one of the minor-mamasans.  i noticed 3 or 4 of these minor-mamasans in the bar; they weren't exactly mamasans, but they seemed more than waitresses.  maybe some one out there has some more information.

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there was one really tiny girl dancing on the stage.  she couldn't have been more than 80 pounds.  our eyes must have met more than a few times, and before i new it she was shaking my hand.

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i'm going to call her neung (not her real name) for this trip report.  she spoke english well enough, so i didn't mind her sitting with me.  we chatted a little; i bought her a ladydrink, and had some fun getting to know each other.  some of the other guys were having fun wearing santa hats with flashing lights -- they were a big hit.

i noticed some of the guys were starting to check bins.  well, we were supposed to go to the living room to listen to some blues.  i guess it was time.  i signaled to mikem33607 and motioned to one of the girls i wanted to check bin.  that's when nueng asked me to pay bar.  heck, i didn't want to do that.  one nueng asked me to pay bar.  heck, i didn't want to do that.  one of my rules is never barfine the first girl.  and we were going to another bar where i didn't know what to expect.  but nueng was really nice and sweet, and i felt she deserved something.  so i slipped her 500 baht and said, "keep the money or pay bar, up to you."  she seemed surprised at that.  she said she wanted to go with me, but i kept telling her i was going to other bars; she didn't care.  she wanted to go with me.  damn these tom cruse good looks.?nbsp; she went off to change and i started to wonder what i was getting myself into, but she was nice and sweet.

mikem33607 and i needed to stop by our rooms.  nueng said she wanted to go with me.  after i grabbed what i wanted, i made a quick stop in the bathroom.  when i came out, i was surprised to see nueng half undressed and sitting on the bed.  ?o, no, we go bar,?i told her.  ? forget,?she said as she started to slip back into her clothes.

mikem33607, nueng, and i grabbed a tuk-tuk to take us to the living room.  the place was in full swing by the time we got there.  they had a good band and were playing some great music.  it looked to me like everyone had a girl or two.  i think mikem33607 and i ordered beers and nueng started in on the barcardi breezers.  and i ordered beers and nueng started in on the barcardi breezers.  before we knew it margarita and tequila shots were being passed around.  but that didn't stop us from ordering more beer and breezers.  after an hour or two, mikem33607 hit the road.  i was thinking i've had enough to drink and should hit the road as well.  but nueng had other ideas; she wanted to visit tivoli (a bar where she used to work).

tivoli was fairly dead, but nueng played belle of the ball.  that's about when it occurred to me that i should have been monitoring her alcohol input.  she really was a very nice sweet girl, but now she was also very drunk.  nueng said hello to all of her friends and talked me up to the bartender (also a nice girl).  after she finished another breezer or two, it was time to go.

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we stumbled out of tivoli, and into a waiting tuk-tuk with nueng holding on to me, and me holding on to the tuk-tuk for dear life as we screamed down sukhumvit towards soi see.  with a kaleidoscope of flashing neon speeding past our spinning heads, and the buzz saw sound of the tuk-tuk, we rounded the corner of soi see and stopped in front of nep.  i squeezed myself out of the tuk-tuk, and held nueng? hand as she decided to spring from the tuk-tuk and onto my chest.  at about that time a tout sidled up to me and asked if i was interested in a massage.  i politely declined as nueng climbed down my body to land on the sidewalk.  i grabbed her hand again and bravely stepped into the street towards the nana hotel.

i always feel funny about grabbing a thai girl? hand, but in this case with all she had to drink i figured it was a good idea.

there was a guard in the elevator lobby, but he didn? ask for nueng? id.

once in the room, nueng headed straight for the bathroom, and proceeded to get things all sorted out.  a few moments later she called me to join her in the tub.  she didn? have to call twice.  in the tub with nueng was a good place to be.  we relaxed for a few moments, and then she got to work.  she meticulously washed each of my fingers and toes, and everything in between.  when it was finally time to get out of the tub and after securing a towel around herself first, she pat me dry.

then it was off to the hunt.

some time in the middle of the night, her cell phone started to ring.  from the looks of her, she had too many breezers to do anything about it.  it rang and rang and rang and rang and rang and rang.  who ever was calling wanted to talk to her bad.  when i got sick of the constant ringing, i walked over and placed the phone under her neatly folded stack of clothes.  that muted the ringer enough so i couldn? hear it.  had i enjoyed a few less beers, i would have turned the damn thing off, or thrown it out the window.

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around 5 or 6 in the morning, nueng got up and was not amused to find her phone under her clothes.  i have to admit i was, though.  she grabbed her phone and padded off to the bathroom to begin a text conversation with someone.  i was just happy the phone wasn? ringing any more.  the next thing i knew, she came out of the bathroom and announced she had to go.  i said it wasn? a problem.

as she was dressing i grabbed a suitable amount for a st, folded and dropped it in her purse.  when her stilts were firmly secured to her feet, she walked over to count it.  she decided it wasn? enough.  ?f course it is,?i said. if there? no breakfast, it? an st.  she started to entertain me with stories of her birthday and her birthday trip to the temple to see buddha where she must make special merit.  the truth is, i was impressed with her last night.  although i?e never had an official soapy, i couldn? ask for a better time than i had with nueng in the tub.  and when we got serious, it got even better.  she only wanted a couple hundred baht, and i agreed with the requirement she would go with me again tonight.  with that she jumped for joy, gave me a sniff and a hug, grabbed the baht, and was out the door. cool, i can get some more sleep without that damn phone.

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